I was perusing the magazine racks the other day -- looking for something to pass the time on the subway -- when I came across a new offering: the permiere issue of Lo-Carb Woman. There was a picture of a happily generic-looking chick on the front, accompanied by a huge starburst announcing: "This magazine contains zero net carbs!" I shit you not. I almost vomited all over the Vogues.
I tried doing Atkins once...didn't really do it for me. Essentially, I treated my "diet" as a license to eat eight slices of bacon and a massive chunk of brie for breakfast. Wash that combo down with a Diet Coke...mmmmmm. I actually lost weight doing that, believe it or not, but eventually couldn't even get up a flight of stairs without seeing stars. Healthy weight-loss, my ass.
Good news...I'm finally feeling better! I can't believe it. I've still got remnants of the cold, but all in all, I'm a new woman. No more going home early from the office. Finally, I can get back to working the inhumane hours I'm used to. Gross. Maybe being sick is actually better for me than being well. I think I'll lick a couple subway poles on the way home.
